Review: The 2015 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT

 

I'm a writer, not a mathematician. However, I do know that the number eight is greater than the number seven.  Especially now that I've driven the 2015 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT ($76,465 as tested).

Given that all Jeeps feature a grille with seven slots in it, I was tempted to tell you all the seven things about the hot rod SUV that stood out to me the most. Once I experienced what was under its hood, I had to bump that number up to eight. You'll see why.

 

King Kong in a box:

Imagine a team of brave men and women manage to put the silver screen's most famous, colossal, and powerful ape in a massive crate that can barely contain him. They throw a chain around the box and hand one end of it to you to hold as you stand on a skateboard. Before you can let out a fearful gulp, those same gutsy people in the hard hats and white coats bang on King Kong's wooden confines with sledgehammers to enrage him.

Yeah...that's what it's like when you put your foot down on the right pedal of the Grand Cherokee SRT. It absolutely explodes away from a stop with the power of a massive 6.4-liter HEMI V8. You're instantly pulled away by 475 horses (and 470 pound-feet of torque), which bolt through a 3.70 rear end. Jeep says the SRT can blast from 0-60 in 4.8 seconds, put a quarter mile under its Pirelli Scorpion Verde all-season performance run-flats in the mid-13 second range, and top out at 160 mph.

Surviving the violent pull of those charging horses works up a hunger in you: for more road, for more people to see you in such a badass rig, and for guys in Mustangs to challenge you to a race. It also makes you ravenous for its deep, angry bark of an exhaust note.

Tries to be flexible:

As you can imagine, a 5,150-pound vehicle with such a large, high-performance engine has quite an appetite of its own. Correction: thirst. It guzzled 91-octane gas like an alcoholic at an open-bar wedding. I averaged about 13 mpg in mixed driving. According to the EPA, the Grand Cherokee SRT can cover 13 city and 19 highway miles per gallon of premium.

Several times before I went driving in my neighborhood or in the city of Austin, Texas, I pressed the Eco mode button that was positioned under the HVAC controls. Jeep states that the Eco setting "optimizes [the] transmission’s shift schedule and expands [the] range of Fuel Saver Technology [which switches the engine from eight- to four-cylinder operation] activation for further fuel economy gains." It also made the eight-speed automatic transmission start off in second gear.

Hard to tame:

That was a great thing, not only for the sake of saving gas but for the sake of driving smoothness. It took me a little time to learn how to handle the Grand Cherokee SRT's ferocity. If I wasn't careful (and started in first gear), I'd make the Detroit-built demon lurch by just tapping the gas pedal. (It's hard to make the ladies think you're cool when you look like a guy holding onto the leash of a Great Dane who just got spooked.) The 15-inch vented front and 13.78-inch rear brakes could be quite grabby.

Jeep's Selec-Track system changed a number of vehicle parameters, including shifting sensation, suspension firmness, and the threshold for stability control intervention. When its knob was turned to the Auto position, the ride quality from the short- and long-arm independent front and multi-link rear suspensions was surprisingly gentle. Sport mode was slightly harsher. Gear changes in Track mode were brutally quick and forceful.

Sometimes tries too hard:

Most of the time, I left the transmission in its regular setting. Bumping the T-handle shifter into "S" engaged a sport mode. In that, the eight-speed auto held gears longer to keep the enormous HEMI in its sweet spot.

While I understand the logic in the decision to make the tranny do that, I don't get why Jeep decided to make its shift lever so unusual. Its stem stayed in the same place while I rocked its top back or forth to call up the gearbox mode I needed. If I didn't carefully watch as I selected it, I ran the risk of picking the wrong one. Using the T-handle was not an intuitive process whatsoever. I've been using traditional automatic shift levers for years and I've never had a problem with them. Jeep tried to fix something that wasn't broken - and made it worse.

I occasionally used the tall paddle shifters to swap cogs. They were too tall for my liking. If they were a little shorter, like those on GM vehicles, they would've been easier to reach comfortably with my fingertips from the nine and three o'clock positions.

Packed with useful technology:

I pulled back on those paddle shifters a lot less often than I used the other technology in the Grand Cherokee. For instance, I became a fan of using the 8.4-inch touchscreen and the Uconnect system's replay feature to rewind live radio and listen to my favorite guitar solos over and over again on the $1,995 19-speaker Harmon Kardon stereo. I liked knowing my seats could be heated or cooled, but I would've liked a hard button for that functionality. Instead, I had to go through the touchscreen. The big, red pushbutton starter was always satisfying to use, especially because the Keyless Enter-N-Go setup allowed me to keep the key fob in my pocket as I did so. Although the Jeep's overall length of less than 16 feet meant it was a breeze to maneuver without having to worry about hitting something, the ParkSense front and rear parking assistant was there to help me, just in case.

Jeep also threw in SRT-exclusive Performance Pages, which could keep track of 0-60 times, lateral acceleration, and other figures.

Well-appointed inside and comfortable in the back:

What I enjoyed just as much as the Grand Cherokee's engine was its exterior styling, from the aggressive nostrils on its hood to the eye-catching Redline paint to the sleek and sinister 20-inch black chrome five-spoke wheels - all part of the $3,995 Customer Preferred Package 28J.

The interior was a treat, too. Jeep's use of materials, including real carbon fiber accents, a suede-like headliner, and anodized interior trim, impressed me.

 

I even enjoyed the back seat. It offered plenty of legroom for my 5'10" frame. I popped the "Skyfall" Blu-ray into the player concealed in the front center arm rest, put on a pair of wireless headphones, reclined my seat back, and watched the latest 007 movie on one of two headrest-mounted flat screens.  

The rear cargo hold was at a convenient height for loading groceries, which, in my case, included big, heavy bags of cat litter and gallons of distilled water.  That 35.1-cubic-foot space was also able to fit two 20-something women who decided to be silly and see if they could cram into it. They succeeded.  Long story...

Ridiculous and contradictory, but...:

In the grand scheme of things, sports cars are unnecessary. I love them, but you don't need 550 horsepower to get to work. Just four wheels and a seat. The idea of an SUV with that kind of output makes even less sense to me. It's trying to make an apple into an orange. Sports cars start off with an advantage because they have lower centers of gravity and less weight. With that in mind, vehicles like the Grand Cherokee SRT seem to be silly exercises.

You know what, though? I don't care. Neither do the people who've made the Porsche Cayenne such a sales hit.  I'm glad something as crazy and niche as a 475-horsepower, speed-focused Jeep exists. The automotive world shouldn't be populated by only A-to-B commuter cars. It needs a little ridiculousness. A Jeep that's more at home on a race track than a rocky trail certainly offers that - and an addictive dose of savagery.

Makes me like the new Grand Cherokee even more:

I had the privilege of driving the Grand Cherokee Summit with the EcoDiesel V6 and the "Trail Rated" Grand Cherokee Overland with the Pentastar V6 last October at the Texas Auto Writers Association's annual Truck Rodeo. They both handled an off-road section of the Knibbe Ranch with aplomb while I sat in the comfort of a wood- and leather-trimmed cabin. Their engines delivered plenty of power. Those are only a couple of the reasons why the GC was named the TAWA's "SUV of Texas" for the fifth year in a row.

The SRT model was very different from those more traditional Grand Cherokees, but it was similar to them in that it pleased me with its abilities, interior materials, and powertrain. I don't need to be a mathematician to know that those qualities add up to one hell of an enjoyable and memorable vehicle.

via [Jeep]

Dodge Rocks Gas Monkey

     Have you ever seen one of those high school flicks in which a nerdy guy has the night of his life - one filled with fast cars, scantily clad girls, and rock and roll? Well, on the evening of Saturday, Nov. 1, I was that nerd. 

I was living a movie because I attended Dodge Rocks Gas Monkey. Richard Rawlings, of "Fast N' Loud" fame and the owner of the Gas Monkey Garage in Dallas, Texas recently opened the concert venue Gas Monkey Live across the street from one of his two Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill locations.  Given that he's a motorhead and 2014 marks the 100th anniversary of Dodge, it made sense that he agreed to host a giant Mopar gathering in the parking lot of his music hotspot.  Rawlings is also a big Motley Crue fan, so guess who he had break in his new stage? That's right: Vince Neil, Nikki Sixx, Mick Mars, and Tommy Lee were there. More on them later in this post...

After I checked in at the W Dallas - Victory hotel, one of my friends with Event Solutions International (hi, Mark!) shuttled me over to Gas Monkey Live. There was a chill in the November air that was off-set by the amount of body heat (and firepower) on the ground. Attendees were showing off their Dodge, Plymouth, and SRT rides; eating BBQ; buying memorabilia and commemorative souvenirs; and drinking shots and beers sold by attractive ladies in tank tops.  According to Eileen Wunderlich, manager of marketing communications at Chrysler Group LLC, 2,200 people showed up. Of course, not everyone brought a car to display, but there were still 850 of them parked on the pavement.

After grabbing an adult beverage and some barbecue meatballs at one of the open bars in the Gas Monkey Live, I went back outside to wait in line for a drive in a 2015 Dodge Challenger simulator. The sinister-looking poster car for all bad boys - in which I placed 4th (out of 6, I think) - was gutted in certain places by Dodge's technical wizards to fit special hydraulics and actuators that were linked to a trio of flat screens which showed my position on a virtual track.  All I had to do was steer, accelerate, and brake.  Of course, the real thing would've been better, but the rig Dodge brought was a safe, efficient, and well-engineered use of space. It seemed that everyone wanted to try it - or the Charger R/T simulator next to it.

The line for those "vehicles" was long enough, but it was shorter than the one for the thrill rides in the Challenger Hellcats. Dodge had two of them on-hand and a pair of factory drivers ready to take patrons (riding shotgun) down an 1/8-mile stretch of pavement as quickly as possible. After what seemed to be two hours, it was finally my turn.

Taking a balls-out ride in a car with 707 horsepower felt exactly the way I thought it would. That's not a bad thing. I was pushed back in my seat as if I were in a space shuttle during lift-off. I could feel the rear end of the Challenger squirming as its back tires tried to break free from the tarmac. My driver made minor steering corrections to keep the Hellcat pointed straight and we absolutely cheetah'd our way down the makeshift drag strip. What surprised me was the fact that the traction control was on and the beastmaster next to me took off at the green light without using launch mode. I was impressed. The traction control didn't spoil our fun. It was like a parent who gives their teenager a midnight curfew. "You can have fun, but there are still rules."

Although by the time I emerged from the Hellcat my feet and ankles were aching, I just had to watch a trio of Vipers drifting in their fenced-in nest. A pall of white smoke billowed from each snake's rear rollers, which chirped in protest with each quick direction change. Blue flame tongues flicked out of each serpent's side exhaust pipes.  I witnessed a couple of close calls in which one of the Vipers almost hit a wall. That's the difference between me and a drifter: I would have freaked out, braked too late, and left an $85,000 V-10 dream machine with chain link hash marks on its beautiful, curvy body work.

I proceeded to take a few pictures of the rows upon rows of Chargers and Challengers that surrounded me, then headed back into Gas Monkey Live to get ready to watch Motley Crue rock the house. After excusing myself through several people and finding the appetizer stations picked clean, I chose a spot from which to take in the show. Rawlings came on stage to announce that having the band play at his own bar has been a dream of his since he graduated high school in 1987. While I don't share his ambition (especially because I was a toddler in '87), I can certainly respect it and congratulate him on making a longtime wish of his come true. He never gave up and made the fantasy in his head into a reality. As Rawlings would say: "WOOH!"

I'm not a fan of '80s rock. However, I must admit that Motley Crue killed it! (My phone's video camera and microphone really didn't do them justice.)  They played as if they were a group of dudes in their early 20s. I could feel the sound of the show vibrating through the walls of the men's room. Nikki Sixx sliced off thick wedges of bass sound with his axe. Tommy Lee pounded on the drums as if they slapped his sister. Mick Mars used his electric guitar to send sonic waves from the fog-clouded stage into the crowd of screaming and cheering gearheads. Vince Neil did a little of everything. He sang (with sexy dancing girls in hot pants singing backup vocals behind him). He pumped up the audience. Once or twice, he strapped on a guitar and rocked out with Sixx and Mars, as he's been doing off-and-on for the past 33 years.  The North American leg of Motley Crue's Final Tour concludes on Nov. 22.  Next year, the group will finish its last set of concerts overseas.

Motley Crue is a stadium/arena band, so it was a real privilege to see those guys in a relatively intimate space such as Gas Monkey Live.  The Mopar muscle outside was abundant and got my heart racing (kickstarted, perhaps?). What a bash. The best part? I didn't have to clean up, talk to the cops, or worry about my parents coming home early.  Wooh!